So how does a mother feel when her baby is dead from vaccines and all she hears from doctors, the government and media is that vaccines are safe and effective?

This is my journey....

I can't say I believed in vaccination. I knew nothing about it, but had it done anyway. It's what you do, right? You do what doctors and baby health clinics tell you and what your parents and the media advise you to do. Well I did it, without so much as a question or thought into it. Within moments of my son receiving his immunisations he was screaming. This continued for most of the day and when he wasn't screaming he was crying. This was unusual as he was a very happy, placid baby, who was already rolling over at eight weeks and gooing and gahing at the first sight of his mother.
After the first day he had almost recovered with only some irritability and restlessness noticeable. As the weeks passed he continued to reach milestones and all appeared Ok.

At 4 months of age I dutifully took him for his next round of vaccinations. This time he screamed louder and I could not console him at all. I would breastfeed him, only to have him projectile vomit it back up and still the screaming continued. He had never before vomited at all, ever. After he had vomited two feeds I called the doctor and told her what was happening and she said to stop breastfeeding and give him juice only. He kept some of it down but still vomited often.

The next day I called the doctor and told her I think the vaccines have done this and she told me ‘no, it's just a coincidence' but to bring him back in, which I did. She referred me to a specialist. While waiting for the specialist appointment in a few days, my baby boy started doing strange things. He started arching his back and crying out in pain. He was as stiff as a board. His eyes would roll into the back of his head. He didn't have a temperature. He had also started shuddering but he wasn't cold. (I later learnt from the doctor these were convulsions and seizures). The vomiting continued and I was convinced to give up breastfeeding by the clinic sister. He vomited up the formula also. I was getting very scared.

We went to the specialist appointment and he took some blood for tests and then we had to wait. His symptoms continued and after several days word came from the specialist that the tests showed he was allergic to wheat. I stopped giving him the cereal I had started him on weeks before, but none of the symptoms went away. (When I thought about it later, it was actually rice cereal anyway.)

I decided to move to a large city to get more help. Once I saw a doctor there he was immediately admitted to hospital for a battery of test - many of which were conducted under anaesthetic, which of course required my signature to say I have been notified that my baby could die while under. I had not been advised of this, but I signed it anyway as I needed to get my baby well again and trusted they knew what they were doing.
By this time my dear little son had lost a lot of weight and nothing I was doing (under advice from doctors and baby health clinics) was working. After months of tests in the hospital (he stayed there) we were summoned in to an office to be told that they ‘didn't know why my baby was deteriorating, but they estimate he will pass away within a couple of months'. I took my baby home to die.