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06-03-2012, 04:35 PM #1
stargaze
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Teenage masturbation
There comes a time in early adolescence where a teenager finds the pleasure in masturbation.

My son will kill me for saying this, but he is there and I think has been at it for a while. I have walked in on him a few times and there has been major awkwardness from both of us. Then one day I thought we might as well talk about it, so we had a chat and ended up cracking up laughing. :lol
So now (mood permitting) we have a joke about it, especially one day where I walked in on him 3 times in 15 minutes, I ws trying to organise sports events for him and every time I turned my back he was back at it HAHA Confusedhock

Have you any idea how you will tackle it when the time comes?
Do you see it as normal and ok?
Is it just the domain of boys or are girls experimenting with it too?


06-03-2012, 04:50 PM #2
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Teenage masturbation
oh my, as the time draws nearer for my nearly 12 year old step son to move in with us, this is one of the most daunting things I can think of. At least with my daughter, we have talked about everything and anything no holds barred since she was a toddler, but I don't have that same rapport with my step son (although we do have a pretty good relationship). Muddle muddle muddle through.

To answer your questions:
1. No idea how I'll handle it. Still thinking about that.
2. Totally normal and ok, just be conscious of where they're doing it (ie. not at the dinner table please! LOL)
3. Girls definitely do it too.


06-03-2012, 08:59 PM #3
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Teenage masturbation
My dear step son (who I raised since age 6) was a very sexual being. I think I got my clue about him being ready when there was a sudden wall papering of sexy girls on his wall and roof. I mean one day there wasnt, the next.. HELLO!

It was really quite unspoken but he knew that I knew and vice versa.

I just started giving him the privacy he needed.. ie knocking on the door before walking in.
Errr he knew he had to clean up after himself too. I told him I wasnt dealing with it and if something needed washing to just drop it straight into the washing machine.

It is normal. Definately dont make it vile or their natural curiosity will feel dirty and wrong.

And yes girls do it too. My step daughter wasnt really interested in it much though.


07-03-2012, 05:01 AM #4
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Teenage masturbation
I can't comment as a parent going through this yet, but in my old life I taught sexuality education to kids and teens. Definitely see masturbation as normal and really - essential - for developing a healthy sexuality. For girls just as much as boys.
I do think it's important that there be some discussion around it. Even if it is uncomfortable and based off a "how to talk to your kids about masturbation" leaflet, I think it is really important that they know nothing is so off limits that they can't talk to you about it. If for no other reason than because 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted - many of these kids don't disclose until someone finds out from a physical indication or until the perpetrator is no longer a threat and in most cases it's ongoing, not an isolated event. If it were my child, I'd want to know they would come to me before it happened again.


07-03-2012, 08:22 PM #5
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Teenage masturbation
Hehe 3 times in 15 minutes! He must have been like "Mum, seriously. P*** off! I'm dying here"

Nice thread B. DP and I had a good chat about this last night and we both feel that it's a very healthy and normal thing to do. During our own teen years, it was definitely more acceptable for a boy than for a girl and if we ever have a DD, we'll aim to normalise the concept so that she has the freedom to explore her own sexuality in the safety of her own room if she chooses.

DP feels that in his childhood home, it was quite taboo and with hindsight, that was detrimental to his development. He felt that he had to be covert and which made him rushed and focused on quickly reaching the end result, rather than using those healthy early experiences to explore and practice in readiness for sexual union. He also felt that he needed more open discussion about it, so that he felt more prepared for his own feelings and sensations in the early teen/ late childhood years.

We're thinking that we'll make sure all our kids have their own rooms in their teen years, have open honest communication from an early age about this sort of thing. And implement a throw your own sheets and towels in the machine and empty your own rubbish bin policy from about age 12 or whenever, so that they have the privacy they need if they need it. Dunno, jump that bridge when we get there!

X


08-03-2012, 03:14 AM #6
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Teenage masturbation
I think many of you would be surprised how early most boys & some girls awaken sexually.
Raising a boy by myself it became a bit of an interest of mine...male masturbation & sexuality & the
better' ways of handling this phase in my sons life. I have asked many a man how early they started masturbating & how their parents handled it.
I was surprised to hear that most men i know where actively masturbating on a regular basis before they finished primary school but that their parents didnt speak with them about it until they were mostly 13 or the 1st year of high school.

We have open communication lines, strong privacy boundaries & a healthy respect toward sexuality, sensuality, information, responsibility, availability & understanding.

We have actually just started speaking with our 15yo about sexual encounters, the days of masturbation were the 9 & 10yo talks.

A very wise person once said to me that if you wait to talk to your kids about things when you think they are ready you will be too late Smile best info i was ever given.


05-09-2012, 10:00 AM #7
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Teenage masturbation
Imagine how these poor blighters would feel if they knew that their mums were talking about them jacking off, on the internet.LOLSeriously, great thread. Really eye-opening.


19-12-2016, 10:27 AM #8
jimrich
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RE: Teenage masturbation
(06-03-2012, 04:35 PM)stargaze Wrote:  There comes a time in early adolescence where a teenager finds the pleasure in masturbation.

My son will kill me for saying this, but he is there and I think has been at it for a while. I have walked in on him a few times
Jim: I don't get why you need to "walk in" on him.  Do you ever knock first?  Is there a door to his room?  Don't you ask permission to enter his private space?

Have you any idea how you will tackle it when the time comes?
Jim: I hope with some laughs and HONESTY about my own experiences with masturbation and sex in general.  Kids need to have HONEST talks with their parents!
Do you see it as normal and ok?
Jim: of course it's NORMAL & OK.  I realize that it can become an addiction where someone  is experiencing mental problems.
Is it just the domain of boys or are girls experimenting with it too?
Jim: Both!
Find the courage to talk with your kids about sex and other sensitive stuff!





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