The Doctors office with Erin is usually good for a laugh or at least an embarrassing episode and today was no exception.

She played well with one of the fifty year old wooden toys where you slide the multi-coloured shapes up and down various twisted wires, all the while collecting every germ and micro-organism that every sick child that has played with it before her has drooled onto it. She avoids engaging in conversation with the other patients as she knows my feelings on talking to strangers.

She has no fear however of talking about them as if they are not one foot away. She questions why one man wears a mask. She asks if the man sitting next to me almost sharing my seat is a boy or a girl. I tell her hes a boy and she follows with, “then why is he wearing an earring?”
A fair question Erin.

She asks what language one woman is speaking to her daughter?
That would be English Erin, English with a thick Eastern European accent.

And my favourite, when she passed the man with the cane resting against the wall between his seat, she whispered but in a voice that was as loud as any adults outdoor voice, “Is he a Wizard Mummy?”
No Erin, the Wizard we search for in the Wheres Waldo books does carry a cane but not all people with canes are Wizards.

Into the bathroom for my urine sample. Im second guessing my choice to bring two tag-alongs with me. Ellie gives a full play-by-play for the receptionists to listen to through the door that doesnt lock.

“Looks like apple juice Mum.”
Yes it does Erin.

“Bet it doesnt taste like it though.”
No, Im fairly certain it doesnt.

“OH GROSS! ITS ALL OVER YOUR HAND. OH GROSS!!!!!”
Oh God.

In the examination room, she has questions about why Im undressing, what on earth Im putting on and why the “robe” is all wet.
That would be breast milk dripping all over it.

I gave her a magazine to keep her occupied while the Doctor did her exam. At about the most uncomfortable moment of the internal exam, Ellie almost shouts,

“OH! MY! GOODNESS GRACIOUS! MUMMY! Can you believe this? A kid with a purse?”
Oh my goodness gracious Erin. No I cant.

Again, “OH! MY! GOODNESS! GRACIOUS! MUMMY! Christmas treats!”
She shook her head in disbelief and continued flipping through the pages of her magazine while I was poked, prodded and swabbed.