Values – Pass them on

Money doesnt grow on trees. It sprouts from an automatic teller machine. From your childrens perspective it does, anyway. Mum pushes a few magic buttons and money appears. Why would they think there are limits?

Values stand behind everything we do. Values tell us what the good life is. Values shape our ambitions for what we want our lives to be. We show our values in the way we talk and act, in how we spend our time and effort, in our actions at work and leisure and in our spending choices.

Knowing what is important to us helps us understand ourselves better. Knowing our childrens values makes it easier to understand them and why they do things as they do. As individuals, we all have different values and attitudes toward spending and saving money. This is part of what makes each of us unique. When the values of family members differ, there is potential conflict.

If we determine what is important to us and why, our values become clear. These values influence how we spend our money. Values also influence how we save for important things. The following exercise might help you decide what your values are:

Work Are you satisfied with your job? Do you make as much money as you would like? How do you feel about both husband and wife working outside the home? Are you willing to move for job advancement? Are you willing to move for your spouses job advancement?

Home Do you want to rent or own a home? Can you afford to furnish your own home as you would like?

Transportation Could you get along without a car? Could your family get along with one car? Would you be willing to drive less? Would you join a car pool? Would you be satisfied with a smaller car?

Recreation What do you do for recreation? Would you be satisfied spending less money on recreation or hobbies?

Future security Are you comfortable buying now and paying later? How important is saving? Have you started to plan for retirement? How would you provide for your family in case of death or disability?

Value conflicts

Each of us has our own set of values. When there are differences in values within the family, you must try to agree on common goals. Talking about money is not always easy. The more open your family is about money talk, however, the more satisfied all will be with how family money is spent.

Involving children

Children learn about money by watching their parents. They also learn by practising money management. Children who take part in regular discussions about using the family income learn how to make decisions. Children influence the familys spending even if they dont earn money. The wants and needs of children are part of the family budget.

MoneyTalk activity

The following MoneyTalk activity may be used to help your family start a discussion on the values of money. This activity will help identify values and set financial goals. Each capable member should complete the following worksheet separately. Be specific and honest with your answers. As a parent you will need to define some of the terms for your school-aged children.

After completing the worksheet, compare your answers. Discuss how you agree or disagree. Are you able to pinpoint the conflicts?

MoneyTalk Worksheet

Directions Family members should answer these questions separately, then compare answers. The similarities and differences that turn up can spark a discussion of family money attitudes, values and practices.

1.   If you received $1000 tax-free, what would you do with it?

$ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

$ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

$ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ . . . . . . . . . for . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

2.   Rank the following activities. Use 1 to indicate what you would enjoy doing the most and 6 to indicate what you would enjoy least.

. . . . . An evening at home with the family

. . . . . A night on the town

. . . . . A few extra hours on the job

. . . . . Some quiet time to myself

. . . . . Spending time with friends

. . . . . Involvement in physical activity

3.  If you had to make a major cut in your current spending, what area would you cut first?

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4.  Do you agree or disagree with the following statements?

Im basically too tight with money.

My spouse/parents is/are basically too tight with money.

Equality in family decision-making is important to me.

I feel good about the way financial decisions are made in my family.

Sometimes I buy things I dont need just because theyre on sale.

I believe in enjoying today and letting tomorrow take care of itself.

5.  Id like to see us spend less money on

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and see more dollars go towards

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6.  Which money problem is the most frequent cause of argument?

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7.  What was the most sensible thing youve done in your family with money?

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And the most foolish?

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8.  Can you fill in the following blank spaces for your household?

Family take-home income $ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Rent or mortgage payment $ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Money spent on food each month $ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Monthly car payment $ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

9.  Monthly credit card and HP payments amount to?

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Extracted from Gold Start – Teaching Your Child About Money by Andrew Lendnal, $29.99, Exisle Publishing, available at www.exilepublishing.com.au or in all good book stores from 27th April 2011. 

About the Gold Start – Teaching you child about money

Gold Start is every parents ultimate resource on teaching children about money. It provides all the necessary tools to teach children the basic principles of money management and is jam-packed full of excellent tips and advice and interactive features such as questionnaires, tables and activities to make your childs learning about money a breeze. Gold Start will help set your child up for life; the sooner you start teaching them important values about money, the better off they will be.

About the Author

Andrew Lendnal is a financial author and educator. For several years he has been directly involved in helping children learn about money, has advised financial institutions on how best to encourage children to save, and has given seminars and workshops on the subject. His first book, Budget Wise, Dollar Rich was published in 2005. Andrew lives in Wellington and has a daughter and a son.